"Anchor identity in relationships, not metrics Green realized he had long tied his self-worth to professional performance — book sales, public profile — which made every dip feel like a personal collapse. He now deliberately keeps his core identity in "my identity as a parent, as a spouse, as a son, as a brother" rather than in measurable outputs. He notes it is easy to conflate what is easy to measure with what is important, since "nobody tells you your dad points are 8% down this month." Shifting the basket where you put most of your identity eggs insulates you from the volatility of metrics you cannot fully control. Source: John Green, Happiness Lab / Ten Percent Happier (with Dan Harris), Everything Is Tuberculosis Episode"